Death becomes her subject

I've heard that men think about sex all day long - someone counted and the daily thoughts about sex in the male mind came to several thousand.

Leaving aside the absurdity of trying to count thoughts (ooh, there's one! and yes, I just had another!) that doesn't seem to leave much room for thoughts about death. Lucky men!

I think about death a lot. I can't count the times, no, but let's just say I noticed it today and realized that it is a leitmotif in my mental cacophany. I am neither morbid nor depressed, and do not contemplate dying for a long time yet. What do the Scotch say? ... "Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead." Good phrase. I am fortunate to count myself among the Happy Living now.

So why all this thinking about death? Well, that's what I'd like to know. Do other people think about it a lot? I would guess they do; that life and death are as common as grass in the landscape of human thought. Mostly I think about other people dying, which is perhaps more palatable than thinking about my own you-know-what (exit ... swan song ... demise -- there, I said it. What would we do without euphemisms?).

So maybe it is the fear of abandonment that causes these thoughts. What if mom dies, what will I do? What if dad dies ... my son ... my dog ... etc. When one has aged parents, the thought of their death is ever-present, I hate to admit. And when one has experienced firsthand the death of pets and family members, the reality of death never goes away. It happens, it sucks, and you can't change it.

That's the part I hate - I can't change death. No one can, except Jesus, which is where being a Christian pays off big time. Yet even Christians still have the physical death, and even Christians mourn and feel the gut-wrenching pain of loss and separation.

As a believer in heaven I am not worried about the afterlife. This may be why I am not depressed or worried about my own death one day. I can get quite excited about the thought of meeting people in heaven whom I would have enjoyed knowing on earth, such as favorite authors, saints, interesting ancestors, would you believe even actors like Richard Burton? And in heaven none of these encounters would be awkward or tongue-tied as they would be if they happened on the temporal plane.

I'm still not sure why I think about death so much, but maybe if other people will add their thoughts it would help clarify the topic for me.